Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
