Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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