after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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