just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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