and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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