Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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