You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
