i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
