i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Alive.
So much puke
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
