shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
