they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
