So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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