i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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