hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
try to milk me bitch
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