We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
