Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
