Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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