do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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