he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
