Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
