So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
