I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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