he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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