I need help removing her.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
