What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
