she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
