hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
