I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize