Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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