he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
