brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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