You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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