i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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