and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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