I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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