How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
