My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
