I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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