these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
