I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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