Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There are leaves in my underwear?
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