Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
