I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
