Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
