508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
