***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
