finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
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