called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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