We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
