my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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